Tranny Terrorist Infiltrates Government Agency As Boss Attempts Huge Cover Up

1 Jun

Informants fear Reprisals

While rumors and doubt about Osama bin Laden’s death during Barack Obama’s presidency continue to haunt us, blogs , emails, tweets, and the like continue to report that transvestite operatives are supposedly infiltrating government agencies at an alarming rate using unprecedented and unheard of techniques

Recently leaked documents now reveal attempts to suppress and intimidate witnesses for reporting “unusual” activities and events in agency offices and parking areas. Indications that operatives in other agencies may be working in concert to cover up these allegations are yet more alarming, oft times fabricating information to portray witnesses as merely “irrational” or “disgruntled” employees.

Osama Trainee Rules as Tranny Trixter in Park Agency

“Crazy like a fox!” the anonymous informant exclaimed. “Osama himself thought up this plot, to use transvestite hookers to infiltrate our agencies while he was still alive! The ultimate disguise no one would ever think of and so absurd sounding that no one would ever believe it. – And, it’s very effective!

“Instead of recruiting transvestites as terrorists, they train experienced terrorists to work undercover as “tranny” hookers to infiltrate and gain control of agency offices.

“They study methods to lure men in the throes of their midlife crises into kinky and humiliating extra-marital adventures. Aging lotharios are ideal candidates,who readily succumb to “in-house” terrorism to avoid exposure at any cost.

“Tranny recruits are usually homely men. The proven theory is that their conceited “”johns” naively believe they’re just doing some poor old bag a favor.

Several reporters, working undercover at one local agency have come up with the following information so far

Elaine Mansouri is reputed to be the most successful of all transvestite terrorists. Agency contacts admitted they once feared “he / She” to be Bin Laden himself, contributing to rumors that Osama indeed was not “killed in a raid and dumped at sea” Her numerous conquests easily convinced the host agency to promote her, therefore, to Regional Safety Officer at once.

Experimental Terrorist Plot Succeeding

Embarking on a routine power walk after lunch, Moira Ferreira, our feminist reporter,  working undercover, gained a lot of insight. “The girls really opened up to me. It was a stroke of luck that Elaine stayed behind to have a second helping of lasagna.

“I soon learned that nearly everyone thought there was something strange about Elaine. They felt she had some unspeakable power over highly placed men in the agency. As lower level functionaries, most employees had nothing good to say about her at all. In fact, some of their comments, including quotes attributed to her, cannot be printed.

Then, it happened! – A few of them started to speak up! I heard Jane say,’Elaine’s been sexting the new hirees again, especially our hot new Vice Commissioner! Human Resources gives her any contact information she needs, so she can drum up business as ‘Lola’ sending pictures of hot babes she pulls from her Tumblr account and Twitter, inviting them to late night trysts in the parking lot.’

‘So that’s what really happened when the cops found her in the car with Dave!’ Mary blurted out, trying not to burst out laughing.

‘You didn’t know???’ laughed Linda ‘That’s why they moved her. He was ready to kill her when he found out Elaine was really a guy in drag! All along, it was just oral sex, but Dave wanted something more that night, if he was gonna leave his wife and kids for her. He was so grossed out to see she was really one of them “Chix with Dix”, he just lost it when Elaine started the fist fight.

‘To spare him humiliation – and the Agency bad press – they promoted her to second in command  at another facility in a neighboring county, so no one will ever know what really happened. The pictures of her broken nose terrified management!

At this point in time, I (Moira) just had to ask how Elaine keeps getting away with such obvious criminal behavior, while attempting to explain the stranger-than-fiction theory of “transvestite terrorism”. “What’s Elaine doing here at headquarters today, instead of learning the ropes of her new position, in her new office, the next county over?” I finally enquired.

“She’s holding another conference with Police today, because ‘Lola’ just made scores of influential contacts upstate and is seriously considering running for office in the next election”, Agnes cried out. Nearly all those men are her victims by now and scared to death just to talk about it. Besides that, our cafeteria special today is Lasagna, Elaine’s favorite, she sobbed. “When will it ever end???”